Pride and prejudice and zombies

I finished this in agony. The dialogue is witty at times, but always at such a boring, inconsequential level. Most of the conversation is about how agreeable or disagreeable this or that person is, and while Austen tries to address this superficiality with the character of Mr. Darcy, his character arc is extremely superficial in its own way. Actually, this dickhead very predictably turns out to be a very kind, lovely and agreeable man once you get to know him.

The characters are boring. Mr. Darcy makes the very predictable transformation from total dickhead to precious darling in basically the snap of a finger. Elizabeth's only character trait seems being a smart-ass. Jane is a gullible fool. Mr. Collins is ugly and disagreeable. All Mrs. Bennet ever worries about is marrying her daughters. And Mr. Bennet doesn't ever give a shit about anything, except his daughter Lydia being a slut (at least the novel wants you to look at her like that). In fact, Lydia is perhaps the most interesting character of all, but the epilogue clearly shows that we're supposed to hate her for not marrying rich and trying to obtain money from her sisters who did better on that end.

If the one-dimensionality of the characters is supposed to be for the purposes of satire, well then Austen forgot to make it funny.