Chungledown Bim reviewed Prince Lestat by Anne Rice
Review of 'Prince Lestat' on 'Goodreads'
1 star
Don't think there are spoilers, but just in case, there's a tag.
I adored the first few books in the series. I tolerated the next few, and fought hard to finish the remainder, don't think I even bothered with Blood Canticle.
'There's hope!' said the internet. 'Rice has regained some sanity and Jesus has let her know it's totally cool to write another sexy vampire book since she really needs that new jetski.' Well, alright! I'm in, baby. It's been over a decade since I last tried a Rice novel, more than willing to forget and forgive, let's DO THIS.
...and the book hasn't even begun and I'm starting to resent things. Do I really need a four-page section of definitions? Gorsh, what is an Mind Gift? Thank you for the capitals, but even had I not read any of the series before, I think I'd be able to work …
Don't think there are spoilers, but just in case, there's a tag.
I adored the first few books in the series. I tolerated the next few, and fought hard to finish the remainder, don't think I even bothered with Blood Canticle.
'There's hope!' said the internet. 'Rice has regained some sanity and Jesus has let her know it's totally cool to write another sexy vampire book since she really needs that new jetski.' Well, alright! I'm in, baby. It's been over a decade since I last tried a Rice novel, more than willing to forget and forgive, let's DO THIS.
...and the book hasn't even begun and I'm starting to resent things. Do I really need a four-page section of definitions? Gorsh, what is an Mind Gift? Thank you for the capitals, but even had I not read any of the series before, I think I'd be able to work out what all these silly terms are.
The silliness continues, however, and three quarters of the book is this incomprehensible word dump of introductions. Every vampire is the same; powerful, beautiful, cultured, tormented, well-dressed, and owns some sort of product that can be placed. They all speak in (and to) the same voice and are virtually indistinguishable, except for Davis, who is black. You'd miss it, only every time the word Davis appears it's coupled with black, dark, chocolate, of African descent, whatever. Good for you, Rice. That's totally not racist.
Then again, it may just be the lazy writing. Word count padding goes mad, every noun has a slew of adjectives and every name is as lengthy as it is ridiculous. Gremt Stryker Knollys, what what. Rice occasionally coins a phrase she finds delightful, high-fives herself, and repeats that phrase ad nauseum. Guys, life's a savage garden. The garden is savage. It's a bit savage, this garden of life. Yes, okay, noted, good one.
There are some bits that no one honestly expected anyone to actually read. Viz
"His Blood Wife, Zenobia, was a delicately built female with voluminous black hair and exquisite features; she brought into the house a universe of new learning, having been brought up in the palace of the Emperor of the East before being brought into the Blood by a wicked female named Eudoxia who had made war on Marius and ultimately lost."
There's one good chapter, the one about Rose. I enjoyed that. I turned pages willingly, to find out what happened. Might just have been Rice having a go at her church, though.
Once the painful exposition is done, finally, the novel crescendos into ... well, bugger-all, actually. Everything's repeated a few more times, reference all the other books again, something something Bose Speakers iPhone Pepsi, and it just sort of ends.
There is no plot. There is no character growth. There is nothing redeemable about this book for itself, the series, or author. A pointless and disappointing waste. Abandon all hope, ye who enter into this miserable excuse of a novel.